Anyway, I had gotten divorced in October and my little girl died in December and the State pretty much cut me off from all of my money except for rent. I know what it's like to have to scrounge for toilet paper, and it is an awful spot to be in! Looking back, I sure am grateful for my Mom and my Grandma. I was very young and had little work experience, but I began to look for a job.
I started seeking the Lord, too. I had always believed in Him, but tended to stray quite often. Actually, I have strayed for most of my life, I am sad to say, but now I needed Him. He was my only hope! I started to read the Bible and pray, all the while trying to survive and find employment.
One day I woke up mad...I mean I was MAD. I went into my dining room and started pacing back and forth and started getting honest with God. Now, I would not recommend this if I was you, but I told Him that I had been trusting Him for a job and there were no jobs, and it wasn't fair, and I had no money for anything and I couldn't understand it ....all the while, angrily pushing my dining room chairs under the table and pacing back and forth. Finally, I decided to sit down in my old rocking chair.
I said to myself, ok.... just calm down. I began to pray as I started rocking back and forth in that old chair. I was tired and weary of life in general. I explained to the Lord I was very sorry and asked Him to forgive me. I told Him that I still trusted Him and that I would not let Him go so please don't let me go. I have often prayed this very same prayer since that time, in fact.
It seemed like less than 5 minutes went by when the phone next to me rang. I could not believe it! It was my friend (who worked at the mattress factory) saying, get down here right now! Two girls just got into a big fight and one walked out. You've got a job if you want it!
Woo Hoo! I flew down there in the little red car I was driving at the time. You could see the road through the floor of it and the seat would not stay up, so it was propped up by a milk crate behind it. Sure enough, I got that job even though they decided to keep the girl that had walked out!
For the first time in months, I felt so encouraged! Not only had He provided me with the much needed employment, He was alive and listening to me. Most of all, He was kind and very merciful! It was enough for me and gave me the strength I needed to keep pushing on.
Psalms 3:2-4
Many there be which say of my soul,
There is no help for him in God. Selah.
But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me;
my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
I cried unto the Lord with my voice,
and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah.
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